How do you speak truth to power?

I've been debating with myself whether to write this blog. In the end I've decided to write it, and since you are reading it, you will learn why I struggled.

I make sense of things by writing. When I put together my feelings and the facts of a situation I process my experiences and find the lessons. I'm hopeful there are lessons in this situation for me, and for you too.

I'm going to be intentionally vague in this blog related to names of people and groups. Because I'm afraid that if I name people and groups there will be significant consequences for me and others. That fear is palpable and ongoing.

I've been a member of an organization for close to 25 years. I'm a member of other organizations too, but this group has been close to my heart, a place where I've contributed countless volunteer hours, time and energy. A place I've tried to help, support and make better. A place I've pushed, challenged and sometimes argued with. Overall, this group has been a powerful place of good - and also deep challenge - in my work.

This organization has stated values like transparency, openness, collaboration, inclusion, the importance of ensuing that the voices of those who are impacted and interested are heard and understood. These values align with my life's work, and are core to who I am when I teach people about brave, honest conversations and conflict transformation.

The last few years, the organization has taken a different turn. Those in power don't respond to emails requesting information or asking questions. Control, messaging and spin is tight, and it takes weeks and months to hear back about a request for input, to respond to concerns or to answer questions. Most often, the questions aren't answered and the silence is deafening. There is no record of the decisions the organization's leaders are taking. No way to participate in conversations. No conduit to raise concerns or questions.

In the last few years I've watched this organization change its ways of operating, without changing the by-laws that govern its operations. Elections of members have stopped, even when qualified candidates are nominated. All seemingly done in the interests of efficiency, ensuring the "right" people are in place to govern the group. It echoes actions of elected officials in countries around the globe, where control is tight and only certain people have power and influence.

Member voices are absent from the strategic plan, organizational direction or decisions.

Key stakeholder groups are disenfranchised and disengaged. The organization would not exist financially or literally without one of those stakeholder groups, but they are treated with disrespect and disdain. I'm a member of one of those groups and know the contribution we have made and continue to make to the organization and there is real pain and hurt in how we are being treated. 

This organization has sister groups in other countries. Some of those groups are open, participatory and welcoming of member input in their practices and operations, and are actively seeking member ideas and views. Other groups are somewhere between fully participatory and this silent, controlled, unparticipatory group in my own country.

I teach the values, ethics and approaches of this organization to others. I welcome people into this organization but I don't tell them about the deep tension between what this organization says it stands for and what it does.

I could get into details of challenges over the last few years but I won't. I won't because honestly I'm fearful of consequences and backlash. 

I find myself at a crossroads.

I believe at my core that the way we solve problems in our lives, organizations and communities is to make space to talk things through. To welcome divergence and difference, reckon and work through it, find a new way forward together. We are almost always stronger because of this new way forward. Relationships, trust, understanding and connection are possible when we talk together about these challenges. When we soften and open to each other, anything is possible. I've written books, given speeches and designed and delivered countless training and leadership programs based on this belief and experience.

At one point I found myself at home, in alignment with my own values in this group. This isn't about a small change in direction. I recognize I'm not a decision-maker here, and if my voice is heard and different decisions are made, I'm OK with that. Or I can put up my hand and take a seat at the decision-making table, which I've done in this group over the years.

This crossroads feels big and deep to me now, like a turning point where you have a choice to make.

There is no talking in this situation, unless I'm talking to myself or others like me who also aren't being heard.

There is no voice of those interested and affected at the table. Those voices are not welcome. Well, let me clarify; some voices are welcome, and others are not. 

There is no openness. Decisions happen without the input of those they represent. 

There is no transparency. Everything is done behind closed doors. The right words are used - so much talk of inclusion, collaboration, equity, respect....but none of the actions match the words.

There is no collaboration, participation, involvement, engagement. Even though this organization says this is what it stands for.

What happens when you are involved with a group where their stated values align with yours, but their actions totally contradict those values?

We always have choices.

A choice to stand and call out the need for change.

A choice to walk away.

A choice to invite a conversation (I've done this with others many times over the last year to silence or stone walling).

A choice to say this isn't OK, to shine a light on the challenges and hope for better, improvements, respect.

A choice to acknowledge the fear and potential consequences of shining a light on what is happening.

I guess I'm choosing to say enough. Enough of this saying one thing and doing another. Enough of teaching people what it means to work together and talk about tough topics and refusing to talk about anything with those you represent, those who elected you. Enough of control, defensiveness, stonewalling and disrespect.

Maybe they hope that I and others like me will walk away. Maybe we will.

First, I can't be in alignment with my own values if I don't take a stand.

So I'm going to be open and shine a light and see what happens.

Maybe I will be a catalyst for change?

Maybe I will be ostracized and marginalized?

Whatever happens I will document it here, as a way of grieving, making sense of what is happening, searching for the leadership lessons for all of us.

What would you do? How would you move forward? I could use some wisdom and insight here. Let me know your thoughts.