Photo source: Ruth Fremson/The New York Times

The media has been inundated this week with EVERYONE’s opinion about Will Smith slapping Chris Rock.

Everyone seems to have a perspective on the issue they feel we are entitled to hear:

• There is no excuse for what Will did and he shouldn’t have done that;
• Violence is never OK;
• What he did was understandable and justified because of what Chris Rock said;
• What Chris Rock said was offensive and insensitive to Jada Pinkett-Smith’s...

“What is your relationship to joy?” That question was voiced a few years ago by a colleague as we were talking about work with high emotion. In my work, I’ve got a friendly relationship with some of those intense and difficult emotions; fear, anger grief and anxiety. It’s not often that joy, happiness or excitement is present in my work so the question made me pause and reflect.

I’ve always just assumed that I’ve got a positive relationship with joy and...

Photo credit: Matt Collamer on Unsplash

Recently I turned on the television and came across a documentary entitled “You are Here: A Come From Away Story”. I spent an hour on the couch both laughing with joy and crying tears from being moved deeply. The documentary tells the story of planes being diverted to Gander, Newfoundland as a result of terrorist attacks on September 11th, 2001. Almost 7,000 people ended up hosted in small, rural communities, full of people who opened...

A “burning” question from a workshop participant.

Can you be yourself at work? Can you authentically interact with others in the public arena? Do you need to stay in character to have tough conversations with stakeholders?

I am asked a variation on these questions regularly in my work in brave, honest conversations. More than anything I think it speaks to how disconnected people have become from their emotions, and how we have normalized systems and processes where the...

Photo credit: by Antenna on Unsplash

I’ve been doing a series of video interviews for an event called Gather that I’m hosting—all about brave, honest conversations. In reflecting on what people are telling me when I ask them about brave, honest conversations I’m struck that at our core we are all seeking connection. That is why we come together—in friendships, families, community. To be connected.

Its easy to get lost in our busy lives and our...

Photo credit: Matteo Paganelli on Unsplash

I’ve led a number of really brave, honest conversations lately, where the space between people was laden with emotion, judgment, assumption and power imbalances. Being able to stay with the conversation, take people into it together and bring them back out again has taken all my skill, experience and leadership. And yet, in one situation I have no idea if I did things “right” or if I contributed to a status quo that is unsustainable...

I was sitting in a workshop last week and a friend turned me after the Florida school shooting and told me this was her town and asked me this question. She was heartbroken, overwhelmed and at a loss about where to start doing something. When she shared her anguish, others in the group echoed her sentiments.

• Where to start making change?
• How to make a difference?
• How to have the conversation?

Let me start here. Rule #1 about brave, honest conversations is that there are no magic wands,...

I get asked a lot of tough questions in my work. People weren’t born knowing how to have brave, honest conversations and it can be really scary, intimidating and anxiety producing to have a tough conversation with a partner, a colleague or a large group of people talking about an important issue.

In this new monthly series I’m going to tackle some of these tough questions. Every month I will address new questions that YOU send me. So if you’ve got a challenge, struggle or...

It can be surprising when you need to have a brave, honest conversation. Sometimes, when you least expect it.

Recently, I took my mother-in-law to the Doctor. The trip left me with some heartache, grief, and a need for a brave, honest conversations with myself.

First, let me say this has been a hard post to write. I’ve had to wrestle with some demons—why am I writing about this? Is this my story to share? Am I hurting anyone in the sharing of the story? How would my mother-in-law...

Picture source: Americabythenumbers.org

Protests, marches, petitions. Riots, police barricades, people injured and killed. Anger, righteous indignation, tragedy and discrimination. Natural disasters, food insecurity, terrorism, poverty. We have some real challenges on this small planet. Some real struggles we aren’t dealing with very well.

What we are doing a lot is talking at each other, over each other and about each other.

We need a new way.

I’ve worked in the arena of public...